Don't let the anthropomorphic fruit fool you. |
The Facts:
A thin lace of gummy candy, 126 cm in length according to the package, with alternating green ("Muscat") and purple grape flavors.
The Reacts:
This product demonstrates the Japanese mastery of the chemical industry and the manufacture of space-age polymer materials. As a delicious candy, however, it fails pretty hard.
The first sign of trouble came when the package was opened, and the person opening the package visibly recoiled from the blast of artificial grape scent that came out of it. Most people in the room could only manage one bite of it. (I saved the package out of research. Over a month later, it still contains the smell of the candy, only slightly abated.)
Flavor-wise, it is as if a government research consortium attempted to replicate the flavor of real grapes, and this was the last attempt before they lost their funding. I should note here that our friend Tim reported an unusual feeling of tingling and numbness in his mouth. Toxic shock or chemical overload? Who can say.
Some miscellaneous reactions:
"Just no."
"It tastes like it smells."
"It smells like those jelly sandals we wore as kids."
"Hopefully, one day the memory will fade."
"Oh God, the taste isn't going away!"
"Artificialicious."
(Note: In the interest of strict fairness, I was the one who finished most of it. It was aggressively artificial in flavor and texture, but certainly not the worst thing I've eaten. I should also like the record to reflect that I willingly eat processed artificial-ingredient snack food for fun.)
Rating:
I will let Tim sum it up: "It can go right to hell." Japan, perhaps your next attempt will be more successful.
Next post: We return to the land of gummy confections, much less traumatically this time.