Friday, June 30, 2017

Snack # 3: Meiji Cho Himo Q Super Long Gummy String

...Okay.  So when I embarked on this project, I was expecting delicious cute snacks from the nation that made cuteness into a mass-market juggernaut.  Encountering this, however, taught me that I was wrong.  So very wrong.

Don't let the anthropomorphic fruit fool you.


The Facts:
A thin lace of gummy candy, 126 cm in length according to the package, with alternating green ("Muscat") and purple grape flavors.

The Reacts:
This product demonstrates the Japanese mastery of the chemical industry and the manufacture of space-age polymer materials.  As a delicious candy, however, it fails pretty hard.
The first sign of trouble came when the package was opened, and the person opening the package visibly recoiled from the blast of artificial grape scent that came out of it.  Most people in the room could only manage one bite of it.  (I saved the package out of research.  Over a month later, it still contains the smell of the candy, only slightly abated.)
Flavor-wise, it is as if a government research consortium attempted to replicate the flavor of real grapes, and this was the last attempt before they lost their funding.  I should note here that our friend Tim reported an unusual feeling of tingling and numbness in his mouth.  Toxic shock or chemical overload?  Who can say.
Some miscellaneous reactions:
"Just no."
"It tastes like it smells."
"It smells like those jelly sandals we wore as kids."
"Hopefully, one day the memory will fade."
"Oh God, the taste isn't going away!"
"Artificialicious."
(Note: In the interest of strict fairness, I was the one who finished most of it.  It was aggressively artificial in flavor and texture, but certainly not the worst thing I've eaten.  I should also like the record to reflect that I willingly eat processed artificial-ingredient snack food for fun.)

Rating:
I will let Tim sum it up:  "It can go right to hell."  Japan, perhaps your next attempt will be more successful.

Next post:  We return to the land of gummy confections, much less traumatically this time.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Snack # 2: Fujiya Milky Peko X Sanrio Chocolates

Back before there was Pokemon, there was Sanrio.  And while the Kids These Days are all about their Pikachus and Bulbasaurs, we stalwart members of Generation X will always hold a special place in our heart for Hello Kitty and her friends.  And so, this next snack brings not only sweetness, but nostalgia as well.

Kawaii deliciousness.

The Facts:
Tiny chocolates with a strawberry base, in the shapes of 12 different Sanrio characters.

The Reacts:
Coming after the Panda Yan Yan, this was a bit of a step down.  It was perfectly adequate chocolate/strawberry candy; tasty, but more moderately so.  The flavor resembled a mixture of chocolate and strawberry Kwik, like the manufacturer was attempting to capture the taste of Neapolitan ice cream.  And while the attempt was solid, the execution was not as excellent as it might have been.  The group consensus was "They were okay, I guess"; nobody really raved about them, but nobody was disgusted by them either.  (It would be worthwhile to compare this one to other similar chocolate/strawberry confections -- more candy research is needed!)

Rating:
1 out of 1 for cromulence; 12/12 for officially licensed Sanrio content.

Next post:  We face a gastronomic horror that none of us could have foreseen in our wildest nightmares -- a snack so awful it scarred one of our number and seared itself into the most horrifying memories of all of us!
... okay, maybe not that bad.  But lord, it wasn't good.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Snack # 1: Meiji Panda Yan Yan Biscuit Sticks

First up on the snacking journey, these nifty bits of charming deliciousness.
Cute packaging makes for a more delicious snack. It's been proven scientifically!
 

The Facts: 
Sticks of butter cookie packaged with spreadable chocolate and fruit-flavored sprinkles.  The idea is you dip the cookie stick in the chocolate and then into the sprinkles.  Think a DIY Pocky, or those Nutella dipper snacks.



Some assembly required. But it's so worth it.

The Reacts:
The cookie sticks are a little different than the ones used in Pocky, but they're similar enough.  They're equally tasty with or without the chocolate and/or sprinkles.  The ten-year-old in the room gave it a definite seal of approval, as did all the adults.
Writing: "時の記念日は いつ? 答え: 6月10日"

About halfway through the package, we noticed that the cookie sticks had writing on them.  Closer investigation showed them to be questions of some sort.  The one we saved had "Toki no kinenbi waitsu?  Kotae:  6 tsuki 10 hi" (Translation: "What is the anniversary of time?  Answer: June 10th")  This is a national holiday in Japan, commemorating the date that water clocks were introduced to Japan from China in the year 671.  So, from this humble snack, we learned something new!  I'm not used to education in my snack food, but I will treasure the new experience.

Rating:
High marks on taste, erudition, and education.  The James Burke of sweet crunchy snacks. 

Next post:  International favorites appear, and get eaten.